beefysquirrelz:

fuck me so hard i forget my name

(via 50shadesofindependence)

matriarch-aethyta:

when you make a fantastic joke but you execute it poorly

(via metablip)

ashestoashesjc:

I regret nearly everything I did between the ages of birth and however old I was yesterday. 

(via janimfriday)

theanti90smovement:

*straight white guy voice* how is that offensive?

(via i-suck-dick)

urksies:

cosmopanther:

I think the real question is why should a girl shave, preen and diet herself into oblivion for a guy in sweatpants and a t shirt who hasn’t trimmed his pubes in 3 years

PREACH

(via thatgirlsamm)

ambassador-of-anguish:

shouldertappingghosts:

If I was a famous author I would publish a book with ten different endings which all went to print with varying degrees of rarity, but not tell the fans about it so that I could watch their confusion as they disagree over how the story ended. Then when they figured it out I would ‘come clean’, telling them that I had released eleven alternate endings and watch them panic again as they all try to find the last ending.

This is perfect.

(via dontdiddlewithmycock)

maybe it’s a good thing if yahoo! buys tumblr at least then I can get off this damn website

thepensivebrony:

“you shouldn’t be depressed, people have it worse than you”

finally, after years of searching, the person with the worst life ever is found. formally, they are granted permission to be sad. but only them. only they have earned it. no sads for anyone else at all ever

(via thatsmoderatelyraven)

drarna:

RULE OF TUMBLR: WHENEVER YOU SEE THE OWNER OF TUMBLR ON UR DASH YOU MUST REBLOG HER

WE LUV U STEPMOMMY

(via thatsmoderatelyraven)

ryaninwonderland:

i once got an anon saying i look like logan lerman and then the next day i got an anon saying i looked like that weird  guy from icarly who kept saying tapenade and like locked carly and sam in his basement and this is why i dont trust anyone on this website anymore 

idk i'm just really horny lol